My Talents

I posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that I have an amazing talent of always getting in the wrong line anywhere I go. It always seems like the shortest/fastest moving, but no, it is the one with all of the people with "issues".

I have discovered two more talents that are equally enviable and marvelous. The first one is that I can attract every blood thirsty mosquito within a twelve mile radius. I must have the sweetest blood on the planet because they will line up to get a sip of me! Cool, huh?

My third, and final talent is hiding things where I KNOW will be the perfect place for something, and then immediately forgetting that hiding place. I took our wireless mouse to our computer away the other day so the boys wouldn't be tempted to play the computer before their chores were finished and I hid it so well that I will probably never see it again!! I do this type of thing constantly!

These are talents that I wish I didn't excell at so much, but hey, at least I'm really good at something!!!! I don't look at it as bragging, I'm simply proud of my gifts!!

Right Now...

Right now....

....we are neck deep in Summer and I'm loving it (sleeping in, late night walks, Lagoon, ice cream cones, Lemonade stands, and flip flops)

....I'm re-reading all of the Harry Potter books. I'd forgotten how good they are.

....I'm glad to be home after a month of traveling to both sides of the country as well as in-between. As much as I love to go, it's nice to finally stay (though I'm not sure how long the feeling will last!)

....we are starting to get ready for school again (7th grade shots, eye appointments, registering for jr. high, and, of course, shopping!)

....we just said goodbye to the Gittins family. It has been a wonderful summer with them and we are sad to see them leave, but we wish them the best on their exciting new adventures!

....I'm growing out my hair. It actually is not driving me crazy like it usually does when I try it. I give up long before now, so we will see how successful I am this time.

....the boys are REALLY into Star Wars. Ryan has been watching all of the movies with them, and they are constantly playing Jedi with eachother and talking about all of the characters. It is so cute to listen to them

....I'm just really trying to enjoy the PRESENT. Life is wonderful and hard and amazing and a gift all rolled into one. Every day I try to remember that and search for all of the blessings in my life. When you look for the good, you usually find a whole lot of it!!

So, what are you up to right now??

It's One Of Those Days....

Today is the kind of day where:

-- I consumed about 100 oz. of Diet Coke and I think I might need another one....

-- I cleaned for hours, and my house doesn't look any better than it did this morning

-- I didn't even comb my hair before I stuck it under my hat

-- I ate chocolate when I wasn't even the slightest bit hungry

-- I didn't wear my bra at all, even though I went out in public (aren't hoodies the best wardrobe article EVER?!!?)


-- I am seriously considering breaking out the Cheerios for dinner tonight

HMMMM, could I be suffering from post-vacation-hangover, maybe? Whatcha think?

BTW, I'm getting all sorts of posts ready to share with you including Christmas (WOW! I'm so behind), birthdays, and our FABULOUS vacation memoirs!!!  Thanks for being patient with me!

Trying To Change....

I had an epiphany the other night that I wanted to share.  It is an internal perspective kind of thing and very personal, but I wanted to get my thoughts organized and down, so please bare with me...

It's about my latest shoulder surgery (well, actually, it's about much more than that, as you will soon see).  For those of you who don't know, I had to have a second surgery done on my right shoulder a week and a half ago.  Same shoulder....same surgery as last time.  Fun stuff...

So, here's a quick back story...

By the time Ryan and I went to Paris and Dubai, I could honestly say that my shoulder had healed.  I could do the things I wanted and needed to do, and was so relieved about it.  I felt normal again.  I felt whole again.  I felt like I could take care of my family again.  Life was good.

After our big trip, and after the semester was over for me, I looked at my sorry yard and knew I had a lot of catching up to do.  Very little had been done the previous summer because of my shoulder, so I needed to do two years worth of yardwork that month (at least that's the crazy notion that went through my head).  So, I went gangbusters on my yard.  Pulling out shrubs, weeding, tilling, planting, mowing, and even re-landscaping.  At night, I would come in and feel sore in my shoulder, but nothing too terrible, and by the next day, I would be fine.  That further convinced me that I was well and could continue.

Ummmm, I was wrong.

Towards the end of the summer, I starting thinking ahead to the upcoming school year.  Ryan's work load was becoming increasingly insane with his huge trial coming up, I was planning on finishing up my Associates and the kids were going to be involved in a few activities.  A few....actually like a lot.  The run down was something like this: one mom in College, one kid in Junior High, three kids in Elementary school, PTA, Primary President, ballet, soccer, piano, scouts, Young Women, voice lessons, and finally, theater productions.  The thought of my upcoming schedule literally brought me to an anxious state of mind.  (I'm shaking just typing all of that!) How was I going to be able to juggle everything? I prayed about it and felt strongly that we needed to simplify.  That is a hard thing for me, but, for reasons that I was unaware of at the time, I knew that things needed to become calmer and easier around here. As a family, we decided that I was going to be tutored at home by Denise in Math so I could just test out of it and not go to any classes.  Whew! One stress lightened!  We also decided to pull Lauren out of ballet classes.  This one was so hard for the both of us.  She is a beautiful dancer, and she has always enjoyed it, but we knew it was the right thing to do to "take our family time back". Voice lessons and sports also got placed on the back burner to simmer for a while.  Looking back, it is so interesting to me to see how the Spirit works in our lives to prepare us for things to come.  The trick, of course, is to listen and follow that Spirit, something I definitely need to improve on.

I continued to go crazy with my yard and house, trying to put things in order.  I just had an overwhelming feeling to get organized.  However, throughout the summer, my shoulder would more frequently become sore after hard labor, even though the soreness wouldn't last long.  In a nutshell, I simply continued to overwork my body instead of letting it heal from doing too much, too quickly after surgery. The frequency of the pain starting speeding up, until, by this Fall, I was back to square one: hurting all of the time, and unable to do even simple tasks like wiping off my kitchen counter!! 

Cue the "pity me" music here:  I was SO mad at myself for allowing this to happen again.  So mad at my body for being weak. Mad at everybody and everything.

But, after many Priesthood blessings, prayers, and discussions, I felt at peace with surgery.  I KNEW that it was the only way to get better again.  So, I had it done, it went well, and I'm now in recovery mode.

But, I was still having a hard time dealing with my situation.  I realize people go through far worse, but I was so discouraged about my lack of ability, my lack of usefulness, my lack of good mothering.  I knew I was put on this earth to be, among other things, a wife and a mother, and I felt that my situation was prohibiting those callings.

Wrong again....waaaaay wrong.

Now we come to my epiphany.  One of my sweetest and dearest friends took me to lunch this week, and as I was crying to her about how it feels to not be able to do anything for myself, as well as for my children or husband, she said something that I hope I NEVER forget. 

"I can't be a good mom when I'm in this poor physical condition," I whined to her.  "I can't cook and I can't clean.  It's so frustrating not to be able to do my job as a mom."

Here comes the lightning bolt:

"Jen, what an opportunity you now have to take this time to just hold them, and be with them, and just love them instead of all of that other stuff you can't do that doesn't really matter anyway! Pretty soon they are going to be grown up and gone.  You can never get this time back with them and there is always time for laundry later."

I have thought about that ever since she said it.  She is right, what an opportunity I have....what an opportunity I have already missed!!  I have gone through so much of my life worrying about all of the "mom stuff" that needs to get done.  Stuff that is worthwhile and good, but not essential for happiness in this life.  I tell Ryan all of the time that I'm such a Martha and I desperately long to be a Mary  (Luke 10:38-42).  Maybe this strong sense of "simplifying" coupled with this little trial in my life is helping get a little closer to that goal....if only I let it. 

This past week has been a new beginning for me.  I'm listening more, hugging more, asking more, and complimenting and encouraging more than I've done in a very long time.  I am seeing my precious children in a different way and trying to look for the positive rather than the negative. I am the first to admit that I'm far from perfect and I still see myself slipping into old habits, but I am determined to turn this road bump of mine into a learning and growing experience and hopefully improve myself in the process.

I want to take a moment to thank this wonderful friend of mine, who helped me to truly see what needed to be seen, as well as the DOZENS of others who have literally dropped everything in their busy lives to help me.  I have felt so loved!!  I have always known that service to others is a wonderful blessing and helps me grow, and suddenly now I'm discovering that my love is growing immensely for the wonderful people around me when I watch them serve me.  It has truly been a powerful experience to let go of the control and allow myself to be blessed by the hands of others.  I hope to one day be as Christlike as you all are! You are all an inspiration to me and my family, and my heart is overflowing with love and gratitude!!

NEW!!!

This week has been filled with new things for me, and I wanted to share them with you.  New is always good, right?  Almost always, anyway.

NEW TEETH...well, new filling anyway.  My old filling from when I was a kid was not so great anymore, so the dentist replaced it.  Gotta love new fillings, especially when the Novacaine deadens your nose, cheek and right eyebrow!

NEW TOWELS.  Mom Nancy is going to be thrilled with this one.  I have needed new towels for, oh, about ten years now.  I kept putting it off, because I didn't know how I wanted to decorate my bathroom, so I couldn't buy towels because I didn't know what color to get.  My old towels were almost completely shredded and a hideous forest green color.  Time to move on, folks! Whenever Mom comes to visit, she teases me about the condition of my towels.  You can now come on over, Mom!

NEW DEBIT CARD.  This one wasn't very fun, but I had to get a new one when I failed to retrieve my card from the ATM fast enough, and it was sucked up, never to be seen again!  Nice safety feature, I guess, but a pain as well.  The lady at the bank told me she had it, but that she would have to shred it....OK, time for a new one, I guess.

NEW FAVORITE BOTTLED WATER.  I guess I'm a bottled water snob.  I am really picky about my water.  Some tap water is good, and  some is disgusting.  Some bottled water is good, and others...not so much.  Costco water is really good, but I needed a bigger bottle for school, so I tried Smart Water.  I love it.  It is very yummy and it is turning me into a water drinker instead of a Coke drinker (still like Coke, just drinking less of it!)

NEW BUMPER.  Wahoo!  After carelessly backing up into an unsuspecting vehicle and denting up my bumper, I got a new one!  It looks perfect...

NEW ZIT. I'm going to spare you a picture here....I know, I'm so nice.  Just trust me that it's a beaut and it's on my nose.

NEW GLASSES.  I went in for a Lasik appointment thinking this was my year to become free from the bonds of contact lenses, but unfortunately, I am not a candidate for the procedure.  Just my luck!  So, I got cute new glasses instead.  People tell me I look smart with them on.  Does that mean that I look dumb without them?  Hmmmm. 

NEW KITCHEN TABLE!!  This is long overdue.  The table we had before wasn't new when we inherited it from my Mom Janis.  Most of the chairs broke (I think we had one original left and it was in bad shape) and it was just outdated.  I am in love with my new furniture.  It will be the place of many family dinners, activities, and game nights in the future!

So, that's what is new around here...anything new with you?

Dear Spring....

This is an official request to hasten your return. My sweaters, coats, scarfs and gloves want to begin their long slumber in the back of my closet. My fingers would like to move freely without the limitations that Jack Frost puts on them. In short, I am SICK of winter. So, hurry up and get here!!

Yours Very Truly,

Jen

Simple Joys

Simple Joys of Today:

--This morning, I decided to pull an old pair of jeans out of the closet that I was certain would not fit me anymore. It seems as if I have gained at least 10 pounds since becoming a lazy college student (not really, but it sometimes feels like it). As I apprehensively pulled them on, I realized that they not only still fit me, but fit me well with a little bit of room to spare! Whew! And there was an added bonus...cash left in my pocket from months before! OK, so it was only three bucks, but still! I'm now three dollars richer!!

--I'm so excited that I get to go to lunch with three of my favorite people, Jody, Tiffanie and Eve. I love these women more than I can say. They are more like sisters to me than friends. How did I get so blessed to have such wonderful people all around me? You are all such a strength and support in my life!

--Finally, I can't stop thinking about a fireside I went to on Sunday night. It was a wonderful way to spend Valentine's Day with my sweetheart. The speaker was Bishop Keith McMullen from the Presiding Bishopric (He's a General Authority in our church). He talked about increasing the love we have for our spouse, our children and our Heavenly Father. He left me with a lot to think about. I need to do better at spending quality time with my kids, not just with fun activities, which are great, but at also spending time doing things where our testimonies can grow. Since applying some the the things he talked about, our scripture study sessions are already improving. I want my kids to know how important the gospel is in my life and instill in them a desire to find out for themselves if it is true and then to try to live it fully in their lives. At one point in the meeting, we all sang the song "Come Unto Him". I had heard the hymn a few times before, but was not very familiar with it. As we were singing, the words were jumping out at me and filling my heart with joy!

I wander through the still of night,

When solitude is ev'rywhere-

Alone, beneath the starry light,

And yet I know that God is there.

I kneel upon the grass and pray;

An answer comes without a voice.

It takes my burden all away

And makes my aching heart rejoice.

When I am filled with strong desire

And ask a boon of him, I see

No miracle of living fire,

But what I ask flows into me.

And when the tempest rages high

I feel no arm around me thrust,

But ev'ry storm goes rolling by

When I repose in him my trust.

It matters not what may befall,

What threat'ning hand hangs over me;

He is my rampart through it all,

My refuge from mine enemy.

Come unto him all ye depressed,

Ye erring souls whose eyes are dim,

Ye weary ones who long for rest.

Come unto him! Come unto him!

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live and they love us! I'm so grateful for this knowledge! I know I can turn to my Heavenly Father any time and He will be there for me. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and He takes my sins and heartaches away. I love them both so much. I hope I can do a little better each day at coming unto Him so that I can always have His Holy Spirit with me. What a sweet joy!!

Yep, it was a train!

Recently, I posted about getting some order and organization back into my life, and that there was a light at the end of this chaotic tunnel....

Well....

I spoke too soon....

My friend, Nan told me that light just might be a train comin' my way....

She was right....

I have now managed to contract pneumonia....

I still want to post about so many things, but I'm too tired and it will still have to wait...

Hang in there with me....

I really will be on the right track again soon....

One with no tunnels or trains....

My Cup Runneth Over

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!!

I can't believe that it's here, (I'm still wondering where the last three months went) but I LOVE this time of year!!

I need to still make three dozen rolls this morning, but I need to take a minute to express my gratitude for my blessings. I believe that my gratitude increases when I outwardly express it. Since starting this blog, I love updating my gratitude list each week because it helps me to really reflect on my life and all of the good in it.

So, on this Day of Thanks, here are some of the things I am thankful for:

• My wonderful family. What would I do without you? You are ALWAYS there for me and love me unconditionally. What a strength and support you are in my life!

• My Heavenly Father. He never gives up on me, just keeps helping me through life. He gave me wonderful parents and has guided me to where I am today.

• His son, Jesus Christ. He has given me SO much! Through Him, I am able to take my concerns, doubts, and fears to my Heavenly Father, and He then quiets those fears. He has literally healed my broken heart and broken body so many times. I am forever grateful...

• My freedom. I am so grateful for the privilege of living in this free land. To benefit from the loyalty, dedication, and sacrifice of countless heroes who have gone before to protect that freedom. It is humbling to think about them and how they have blessed the lives of me and so many others.

• My hubby. I included him in the first one, but he needs a separate shout-out. He is my best friend. I would not be the person I am today without him. Every day he makes me want to be a better person. He is such an example of unconditional love and he treats me like a queen. I can't express how much he means to me and I get tingles when I think about spending forever with him. He has taught me more about love than anyone else.

• My healthy body. Some would argue with me about that one, but I am so grateful for a working body. One that heals itself relatively easily and allows me to do the things that I need to do. I am also grateful for the times that my body has struggled to get better...it has taught me to rely on God and others more.

• Motherhood. I have three wonderful moms to look up to. They are wonderful people and have taught me more about my sacred calling to raise my beautiful children. Being a mother is the hardest and greatest thing I have ever, or will ever do and I can't express enough how grateful I am for the privilege.

• My desire to learn. I have always loved to learn, and am so grateful for the opportunity I have to finish my schooling. I'm grateful for a mind that can understand and gain knowledge.

• The comforts of home. How blessed I am to live in a nice house with warm rooms, warm water, working appliances, comfortable beds, food to eat, and even little things like toothbrushes and blow dryers.

• Good food. I have to put this one in here, because I love food so much! Life would definitely being far less wonderful without yummy stuff to stuff my face with.

• Friends. You are my lifeline! I have so many wonderful friends who love and support me through life. You call me out of the blue and cheer me up. You tell me that you pray for me when things are tough. We go to lunch and laugh our heads off. I know I can always count on you! Thank you for your friendship!

• Music. I love listening to music and singing it. I love how music makes me feel. What a blessing it is in my life.

These are just a few things on my gratitude list. A drop in the bucket, if you will. We all have so much to be thankful for!! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday! Now, let the feasting begin!!!

No, I haven't forgotten how to post....

I've just been INSANELY busy!

Since my last post here are few things I have been doing...

• 
  
  getting packed and ready to travel halfway across the country
• driving to Milwaukee and back with four kids, a husband, lots of snacks, and a fully charged iPod.
• laundry, laundry, and more laundry from said trip to Milwaukee
• detailing the car (Lauren helped too) after the trip--GROSS!
• planning our Christmastime trip to Disneyland
• celebrating my little Braiden's seventh birthday!
• organizing my hall linen closet
• putting up Halloween decorations
• typing up my friend's recipes into a book for her
• homework (mine and the kids)
• calculating my menus for nutritional value to input to my computer (Chicken Cordon Bleu is very fattening!)
• finishing John Adams by David McCollough (FINALLY!)
• reading Little Women
• going to soccer games and choir concerts
• helping with bridal showers
• picking "punkins" with my Little Punkins
• going up to Midway with Ryan for the firm's annual Partner's Retreat at the Zermatt (very fun!!)
• hunting for Halloween costumes
• volunteering at the DI and school classes
• trying to fix my Internet so I can finally post on this blog
• AND going to lunch with Denise now that she has a lot more free time :)

Whew! I'm tired just typing it! But in all honesty, looking at this list makes me happy, because I realize I'm starting to accomplish something which makes me feel more like myself again. For the past six months, I haven't had the strength, motivation or desire to do much of anything. But I am starting to feel SO much better, physically, mentally and emotionally. My shoulder is doing so much better, and I have even cleaned some of my house and not been extremely sorry for doing it.

I am going to post about Braiden's birthday and Milwaukee soon. We had such a fun trip! I need to find the cable that connects my camera to my computer first, though. Just know that for now, I'm doing great and haven't forgotten how to turn my computer on!

Random Thoughts and Camera Surprises

I wanted to get a few thoughts out of my head...I've got way too many floating around in there. Maybe if I write them down, I can sort them out better.

First off, I have been thinking about Cole. He is my dear friend Eve's little boy. He and Braiden are the same age, although Cole is a year ahead of him in school. He is always coming over to my house to look for bugs and water snakes in my yard and in the field behind me. He is quite the kid...so full of life! Almost three weeks ago now, Cole was hit by a cement truck on the way to school. He was badly hurt and flown to Primary Children's. It was very upsetting and I have worried so much about Cole and Eve. Fortunately, he is doing much better, considering the circumstances. Amazingly his head and internal organs were OK, but his legs were badly damaged. He has had major surgery to repair the muscles and tendons in his leg and foot. He will eventually regain the full use of his legs, but it will be a long, hard road.

I love Eve to death. Whenever I am down, I can count on her to cheer me up. She is so funny and has a fantastic outlook on life. She is one of the neatest ladies I've ever known and has such an amazing presence about her. My heart aches for her and her family, but I know she is strong enough to not only endure this trial, she will come out of it even stronger.

This experience has really got me thinking about the fragility of life. It easily could have been Braiden riding to school and been hit. Why was it her child and not mine? Every single day of life is so precious. Why do I take so much for granted? Each moment with each child is a gift. Why do I get frustrated at my kids so easily? Why can't I be more patient with myself and them? Why do I worry so much about the little things that don't really matter? I wish I had the answers to these questions, but I am trying to be better...Thanks for your wonderful example and friendship, Eve! You are in my prayers and I love you tons!!

Another thought is about my shoulder recovery. I was having a pretty hard time a few weeks back. I was hurting so bad, and I was really getting scared that I had either re-injured my shoulder, or that the surgery didn't work. The pain was as bad as it had been before my surgery and was just not getting better. I was very discouraged, frustrated, and feeling pretty bad about the whole thing. I was even a little angry that I couldn't do the things I needed and wanted to do. I wondered if I was just being too wimpy, and that I just needed to suck it up and deal with it. I returned to the doctor with these thoughts. He was quite concerned about my discouragement. He told me the shoulder itself was perfect, that it just needed more time to heal, and that the problem was that the soft tissue in my shoulder was extremely inflamed and we just needed to calm it down so it could heal. He gave me a shot of Cortisone in my shoulder (which hurt like ----) and sent me home. I didn't move it for a few days and I started to feel a little better, both physically and mentally. I think I finally figured out what I can and can't do at this point. I was just being impatient (me??? impatient?? never!!) and I needed to pace myself and my recovery.

This whole experience has taught me several things. First, I need to be more patient...with my body, with myself, and with others. Now, I'm not saying that I AM more patient, just that I have learned that I need to be. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I will ever learn to be more patient. Second, I have learned to rely on people to help me more. I am pretty independent and not being able to take care of myself has been a huge blow emotionally. It has been hard to let people help me do everyday things like my laundry, vacuuming, and dishes. My job is to be the mom and not being able to do my job effectively is really hard on me. I have neighbors and friends who will just drop in and clean something for me, or drive me places, or take my kids. I really appreciate their thoughtfulness and I'm trying to get better at accepting their help without feeling like a failure. This experience has also taught me to recognize the people who truly care about me. I had no idea that I had so many GREAT friends! That sounds bad, but when you have an experience like this, some people are really there for you whenever you need them. They really showed me and my family charity and I learned a lot about how to try to be in the future. The most apparent example of this is my mom, Janis. She literally dropped everything for me these past few months, including taking care of her two sick mothers. She has helped me with the kids, driven me to therapy, done the grocery shopping, made me dinners, scrubbed (and I mean scrubbed) my house from top to bottom...the list goes on and on. Words cannot express what that has meant to me. You are wonderful, Mom, and I love you so much for your outpouring of love and service!!

I'm happy to report that my shoulder is doing remarkably well now. I just needed to take it easy and let it heal. I still can't do everything, that will take several more months, but I now know my limits and I'm looking at the positive here. So, these are the mile stones that I'm very proud of:

• 
  
  I am sleeping much better, and waking up relatively pain free (HUGE improvement!)
• 
  
  I can tuck in my shirt and fasten my bra all by myself! (TMI, I know, but I had to brag because this one has been really hard!)
• 
  
  Driving doesn't nearly kill me anymore (or my children, for that matter). It was turning the steering wheel that was the kicker (steering is so overrated!)
• 
  
  I can sort of fix my hair without having to ice my shoulder for an half hour afterwards! (It's the round brushing thing--kills the shoulder every time, but it's getting better)
• 
  
  I can reach up, back and behind without extreme pain (but I'm still not supposed to do this very much)
• 
  
  I can lift anything less than three pounds! What is less than three pounds, you ask? Coke, of course, but not much else!

So there you go...my accomplishments over the past two months. I can't believe it has been that long. I keep telling myself to hold on until Christmas and by that time, I should be able to do almost everything again. I can't wait!!

My third random thought is just that...random thought. It seems that more and more that I can't seem to keep anything straight in my brain. I'm forgetting things left and right...dates, important info., things my kids tell me, you name it. It all goes in, then goes right back out! I completely forgot to take a quiz in one of my classes the other day. OOPS! How did that happen? What is going on with me? Is this normal? I'm a control freak, and sometimes I feel like I've completely lost any control I ever had. Fortunately, I have an extremely patient husband who knows I can be a freak of nature every now and then, but still loves me anyway. He is a huge reason I feel even half way normal, what an absolute sweetheart! I think a lot of this can be blamed on the fact that I have dealt with chronic pain and lack of sleep for well over a year now. That can really wear on a person. Thankfully, the pain is subsiding and the sleep is coming back. Hopefully, as my mother always says, "this too, shall pass". I'm waiting, Mom.

One last random thought. I just finished praising my mom for being the greatest thing ever, but now I have to scold her. She went with me to Costco the other day and exposed me to a very great evil....Chocolate Macadamia Carmel Clusters!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!! They are SO good! Dang you, Mom!! Why did you have to go and show me those little nuggets of joy? Why, when you know I have absolutely no will power when it comes to chocolate? How could you be so uncaring to my waistline? Maybe I will forgive you, but it may take a while!

Last, but not least, I wanted to share with you some surprises I found on my camera...I was downloading my pictures from Jackson and found these little nuggets...

Are you kidding me with this!!??!?? Apparently, my children do all sorts of weird things when I'm not around. I thought they just watched movies when they babysat, but obviously not! I don't know if I should be more upset with Lauren for dressing up my little boy, or with Ethan for allowing his big sister to dress him up AND put make-up on him! He is really going to kill me in later years for this! But I promise to not show these pictures to his high school prom dates or anything like that! I just thought it was both funny and scary at the same time...please tell me if I should be worried!

Wait! I need to add one final random thought...several of you have told me that you can't comment on my blog. I didn't know what was wrong, but I think I finally fixed the problem. So, just for experiment sake, please leave just a quick comment to see if it works. I'll be waiting for your feedback while I eat yet another cluster of goodness from Costco!

I Are Getting Edjumacated

I have at least four posts in the works, but haven't posted them yet because things have been so busy. But I just wanted to let you all know that I am officially a student again!! I am completing my associates degree before I reapply to nursing school. I only have five more classes left!!

This semester, I am taking the two computer classes that are required for my degree. Next semester, I will complete my math and my creative arts requirements.

I am excited to go back. My college transcript is pretty complicated and all over the place. It has been a crazy road. After high school, I went up to Utah State for a year. I loved it, but I had no clue what I wanted to do. Then Ry and I got married and he transferred to the U of U. I took one class there and I absolutely hated it. So, I transferred up to Weber and took some classes with Denise (which was fun). Then my girls came along, and I took a break from school to be a mom. I still didn't really know what I wanted to do anyway, so it was OK. I knew I would finish eventually.

When Ryan was in law school, a lot of the wives in our student ward were nurses. I would talk a lot about their jobs with them and decided that was what I wanted to do. I started back at Weber after we moved home from Idaho. I loved all of the medical classes. Anatomy and Physiology were my favorites!! I applied to Nursing school part way through my generals thinking that it would take me at least two tries to get in.....nope. I found out I was accepted into the nursing program the same week I found out I was pregnant with Braiden!! It was a hard decision, but we decided that the timing just wasn't right and I withdrew my place in the nursing program.

I wasn't bitter about my decision, I have been so fortunate to be able to stay at home and raise my children and I knew that was where I needed to be. I also knew that my time would come if I would just be patient. I was definitely going to go back, it was just a matter of when.

Well, that time is now!! Ethan is in preschool three days a week, so it's time for me to finish up. My plan is to complete my associate degree and start the nursing program when he is in first grade.

I guess we will see where this new adventure will take me, but for now, I'm excited to get out and learn new things....you know....get edjumacated!!

Much Needed Update

I have a few things to write about.

First, my grandma Rosalynn passed away this morning. She was my dad's mom. She was 88 and her health had really gone down hill over the past few years. These last few weeks have been really bad, so I'm glad she is not suffering any more. But it's always hard to see someone go. Watching my parents in their grief has been so hard. They took really good care of her, which wasn't easy. We will all miss her. She was a neat lady. I will blog more about her soon....I love you, Grandma!!

Second, my shoulder is getting better, slowly. I went in for my two week check up, and the OS said I'm doing "wonderfully". He told me that I could stop using my sling (unless I wanted a little more sympathy from the fam). He also wanted me to start doing more aggressive physical therapy, but the best part is I get to sleep in my bed (sleeping in a chair is the pits!). I'm happy about this news!

Third, we sent Katie off to her first girl's camp!! She has driven us crazy the past few weeks getting ready. She was SO excited!! I hope she is having fun. I know I keep saying this, but it is just so weird to see her growing up so fast!! I'll give you a full report when I get one. I miss her. She has been an absolute angel these past few weeks I've been sick. She has helped me so much. But Lauren has certainly picked up the slack!! My daughters are so wonderful!!

And, my last bit of news is that I've written this entire post from my new iPhone!! It's my new toy and I LOVE IT!!!! I can do so many cool things with it (I watched part of the movie "Hitch" while waiting for the doctor!)

So, there's an update...I am now going to go to bed....IN MY BED!! I hope Ryan will let me back in after my long absence!

I'm Alive And Well....Sort Of

I am typing on the computer right now, so it can't be all bad, right? If my very protective mom finds out (Love you, Mom!) she might go a little crazy, so I will make my comments brief so I can go ice my shoulder and rest.

Last Monday, I went in for shoulder surgery. The Orthopedic Surgeon (OS for short) found an impingement and a few other things on the MRI, so wanted to go in. But once he was in there, he also found a partial rotator cuff tear (RCT). For those of you who don't know what that is (I had no clue), it's bad. Fortunately, it wasn't torn all the way through, but RCT require a lot more recovery time. I'm so glad he found it, fixed it and the impingement and that we are finally on the road to recovery. But I don't think I was prepared in any way for this surgery, emotionally, mentally, physically. I guess I was just excited for the chance to get better, but had no idea what I was in for...but it's all good.

I didn't end up going to Sun Valley on Wednesday (big surprise!) Ryan needed to go for the Bar Convention, so he took Katie, Lauren and Braiden. They had a blast but I really missed them. Ethan and I moved over to my mom's and she took excellent care of us. It was nice to relax and not worry about anything but getting better. We are all back together again, which is wonderful, and I'm getting a lot of help from everyone, including the kids.

So... here's the situation:

• I need to be in my sling (deluxe version, very nice) 24/7 for at least four weeks, unless doing my PT exercises.

• I am not allowed to move my arm even 4 inches away from my body, again for four weeks

• I can't get my shoulder wet until the incision heals (about two weeks), so I have to plastic wrap myself like some sort of left-over dinner (and trying to wash my hair and shave my legs with one hand is quite an adventure!)

• I can't get dressed by myself, it takes a team of highly qualified people, or my kids, whichever one is available to get my shirt on

• I have to do everything left-handed, from brushing my teeth, to eating with a fork, to buttoning up my pants. I'm sure I look very humorous.

• I have to sleep in a recliner (thanks Mom and Dad for lending me yours!!). This is somewhat of a joke, but it is better than sleeping on the bed, I was resting on my bed for a few minutes the other night, and was very uncomfortable. However, I am afraid that Ryan won't let me back in when I'm better, because he now takes up the whole mattress. Maybe we will switch, and he can take the chair and I will take up the whole bed!

• There is no way I can do my hair...the girls have put it up in pony tails, but I won't feel completely normal again until I can feel like I look half way decent (I had no idea I was that vain!)

• But I'm getting off the pain meds...the pain hasn't been too bad, as long as I don't move! So without Lortab, I'm feeling more like myself.

• I've received a lot of yummy dinners, Cokes, flowers, chocolate, phone calls and get-well cards, so THANK YOU, everyone!! You are all so sweet to think of me and my family!

This is a small update on the goings on. It has definitely changed our summer a bit, but it will be so nice to do normal things without pain again. I can't wait!!

UTA Man Saves The Day And Other News....

This morning, I woke up to find that I didn't have a car. We went to the Bees game after work yesterday, and Ryan left his car in Salt Lake. So Ryan had taken my car to the Trax station because I was too lazy to get up and drive him. I had a doctor appointment scheduled for this morning, so I thought it was a brilliant idea to walk the two miles to the Trax station instead of having Tiff or someone drive me over there. It was a beautiful morning and I needed the exercise, so it seemed like a perfect idea.

I left a little later than I was hoping, so I just walked a little faster (hoping I wouldn't really stink by the time I found the car)...but I started to get a sinking feeling that maybe Ryan had taken the bus instead, and my car was parked at the Park 'n Ride lot instead of the Trax lot. We live halfway between both lots, but they are in the opposite direction of each other. If I picked the wrong lot, I would be very late for my appointment. I tried to call Ryan to check, but no luck. I just kept walking and hoping I wasn't going to regret this idea.

It was starting to get hot and I was really bookin' it. When I finally got to the Trax lot, I looked around and I found.....nothing! No car! Aahh! I debated for a moment of what I should do...walk to the other lot (which would take me about a half an hour), call someone to pick me up (how embarrassing), or what?

As I was walking through the lot, I did see a Trax employee in his official Trax truck taking a nap. He was staying nice and cool with his truck running and the A/C on. I decided to ask him for help. He wouldn't wake up at first, I had to keep knocking on his window, but he finally jumped, rolled down his window and listened to my bizarre story. I told him my husband had taken my car to what I thought was the Trax lot, but since I couldn't find it, I needed to go to the Park 'n Ride lot instead, how I had a doctor appointment that I was late for....blah, blah, blah. He laughed, told me to get in the truck and we would find my car together. How sweet! We found it right away and I was only 5 minutes late for my appointment.

Thank you, UTA man!!! I'm sorry to have interrupted your nap, but you are my hero for the day!!



In other news, I went and saw an orthopedic surgeon today. He went over the MRI I had for my shoulder and decided I need surgery. I have an impingement, meaning my bursa and tendons are being pinched due to an inflammation. I also have calcification somewhere in my shoulder (can't remember where) that needs to be removed and severe bursitis and tendinitis. Fun, huh? At least I know I'm not making all of this stuff up! My shoulder and arm have hurt so bad for a year and a half, and I've had doctors tell me they can't help me. I really like this surgeon, and I'm very optimistic that this will help. Of course, I'm also scared. I've never had surgery...ever...I still have my tonsils, all of my organs, and have had no C-sections. This is new territory for me, so it's a little nerve racking, but I'm excited to be able to move on and get better!!

So...I'm going in on Monday morning. It is an out-patient procedure, so I will be home later in the day. I will have a sling for a while and a pain med drip (cool!) for a couple of days. Then lots of PT and rest. We are planning to head up to Sun Valley on Wednesday....the doc seems to think this will be the best thing for me: a husband around all of the time, no laundry or housework to worry about, and lots of rest and relaxation. I was looking forward to riding bikes around Idaho, but Ryan and the kids will have to go ahead without me (good movies and good books, here I come!!).

That's the latest scoop from our neck of the woods. I will keep you all posted as best as I can. Any prayers will be greatly appreciated....