Mother's Day

Well, another Mother's Day has come and gone. It never ceases to amaze me how fast time continues to fly by. I always plan my yard work and gardening around Mother's day (got to get the gardens ready to plant by then) and it sneaks up on me faster and faster every year. I never seem to be ready for it anymore.

I just want to take the time to express my love for my three Moms today. I have occasionally made the mistake of thinking that three moms is a little much, but usually I realize how blessed I am to have these women in my life. They are the reason I am who I am. I am continually amazed at how much they have sacrificed for me and loved me all of my life. Being a mom now, I understand that a little better, but I don't know if I have fully grasped the scope of their influence and love.

I grew up with my Dad and Step-mom and visited my birth mom a lot. I don't remember my parents splitting, I was too young. So living with Janis and my dad is all I have known. She became my mom in every sense of the word. I remember little things about her, like letting Denise and I do her hair with all of her curlers, barrettes, and combs. What patience! I remember her singing silly songs to us, and reading us books at night. She bought us play sewing machines and we would spend hours in our kitchen sewing together. She was always there, watching out for me and worrying about me during the crazy teenage years...I didn't always like her, but I respected and loved her. Looking back on these memories brings emotions to the surface...she is such a great lady! I wonder what is was like for her coming into the situation she did: divorced man with two little girls and a lot of baggage. Why would she put herself through that? She sacrificed so much and went through a lot so that I could have a mom. She took such good care of me and never gave up on me. I have never thanked her enough, nor can words express how grateful I am to her. It is wonderful to know that I am now sealed to her and my dad forever! She is my mom, and always will be!

Nancy is also an example to me. She has always been my friend. She is someone I can laugh with. We are a lot alike...I definitely inherited her looks and personality. Growing up, it was always fun to go to her house on the weekends. I knew it meant eating chocolate licorice, getting to sleep in her bed, making and eating cookie dough, and sometimes going to Manilla to see Grandpa. She deeply cares about me and is very proud of her two daughters. I am so grateful for all that she has done for me in my life!

Geneal is my third mom. I have called her Mom ever since I got married. She is a wonderful woman! I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law! I remember once, just a few weeks after my wedding, I pulled her aside and asked her a question about something. She got the biggest smile on her face and gave me a huge hug. It was her way of saying that I was her daughter and that I could ask her anything, anytime. I still do. I will call her when I am having a hard time, and she somehow knows when to call me to see how I'm doing. I am also so impressed at the way she raised her son. He is such a wonderful husband, and I know that a huge reason for that is because of his parents.

I can't believe how blessed I am! I now have four little joys of my own. I said in an earlier post that all I have ever wanted to be is a mother. I remember growing up how excited I would get thinking about all of the fun things I would do when I was a mom. Taking care of babies, going to the park, singing all the silly songs my mom used to sing. It didn't take long after we were married to want to start our family. I was ready! Looking back, I wonder why I was so anxious at such a young age, but I knew that this was my path and was excited to begin. I had Katie just before I turned 21! Wow!! That's a little crazy, but I was so at peace with it. Mom and Dad were living in Denver at the time, and Nancy was in California. I was worried about being a mom without my moms there. Would I know how to be a good one? But Geneal and my Aunt Kathy were there, and I really seemed to ease into my new role that I knew was my calling in life.

I haven't looked back, this is where I need to be and most days, I love it. But I'm not going to lie--it is so much harder than I imagined it to be. Taking care of babies, going to the park, and singing are great, but there are a lot of exhausting and hard times too. Sometimes I wonder if I am going to make it, and somehow I do. I'm going to be completely honest and say that Mother's Day is never my favorite day. I don't know what it is, but it is the day when the kids seem to act the worst and I feel like a failure. Is it because I feel like I don't measure up to this huge calling and I perceive my kids acting up? Are my expectations too high? Is there too much hype? Whatever the reason, I always come away feeling like I need to be and do so much more. So, I have some new goals for my job as mother for this coming year:

-- I want to listen to my children better. I have 3 million things going on in my brain at any given time, and I have a hard time focusing in on only my kids in that moment. I'm always worrying about the next thing. I need to do better at stopping the thought process, and really listening to them. When Lauren and I were running in our 5K, we really talked. Not just about what needs to get done later or school work, but about life. We were giggling along the race route. I need to have more moments like that with my kids. I try to take each one of them out to lunch once a month. Just me and them. That is where I find out what's really going on in their lives, but I need to focus on them more every day. I used to be better at this, but life just gets crazier and crazier. I need to slow down.

-- I want to be a fun mom. With life getting crazier, I feel more burdened with things. Having a bum arm, running a house, finances, callings, etc. takes a toll. I need to take the time to just be with my kids and have fun. I am looking forward to summer when we will have more time to do the fun things. I need to get my arm feeling better and just chill about all of the other "stuff" that tries to get in the way.

-- I want to document their lives better. Starting this blog has helped me to put some of my feelings and memories into words. I find myself taking pictures a lot more now. I can also write about those pictures almost immediately while the memory is fresh in my mind instead of waiting until I finally get around to scrapbooking the event years later. I feel bad I have forgotten so much of the little things. I hope to remedy this problem from here on out. I want their childhoods to be captured and preserved.

I hope I can improve in these areas. But anyway, back to the present (part of preserving the memories thing). So here's how Mother's Day weekend went down for us. Saturday, we took Geneal out to breakfast. We went to MacCools and they had a shuffle board. The kids had a great time playing while we waited for our food (which was good, by the way).

Then we were off to Braiden's soccer game. It was a beautiful day for a soccer game! We were playing Kaden Bodily's team. Kaden and Braiden are glued at the hip. I love this kid and hope they will always be friends. Kaden's team beat the pants off of Braiden's team (it's a good thing we don't keep score at this age!), but we had a fun time. My parents and Geneal came too.

Then we went to Maddox to celebrate Mother's Day with my family. Dad was so cute about it. He pulled me aside last week and asked me to make reservations for us so we could take Mom out to a nice dinner. We love Maddox, and hadn't been there as a family for quite a long time.

Dad was being silly, as usual, and wanted a picture with the huge buffalo that was hanging over our heads while we ate.

Then, on Sunday, we went over to Mom and Dad's house for dinner. It was nice. I got this neat picture of my wonderful grandma, mom and daughters. What would I do without these wonderful women in my life? I love you all!! Thanks for being great moms and daughters!